dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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