thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
