I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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