I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
