Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize