If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
