There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
