he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
