If that was your dad, he is hot
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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