There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
