Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Randomize
