i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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