my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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