Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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