Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
