I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
