so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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