You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
