You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
