he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He? As in you personified your dick?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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