My sheets look like a crime scene.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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