her vagine was all disorganized.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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