why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
