Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
