i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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