well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
