Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
