it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
