So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
