It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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