All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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