No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize