Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
