We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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