ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
