I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
