You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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