im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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