fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
