I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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