I skipped work to stalk him.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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