My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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