Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I wish you could order shots online.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
