i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
