Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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