At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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