nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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