Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
