what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
