She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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