someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
